From One Messed Up Human To Another

The feeling is still as clear as a bell. Sitting shoulder to shoulder on hard wooden pews with hundreds of other women, laughing, crying, singing, and praying. I loved going to spiritual retreats with Christian women back in the 1980's and 90's.

I can see the big boxy jackets the women speakers wore. Padded shoulders and shiny buttons over colorful dresses and skirts. Their hair was perfect and makeup flawless. Which made sense because according to the words they were speaking into the microphone; they lived perfectly joyful and productive lives. Nearly 24/7. 

The reason they were the speakers and we were the listeners was obvious. They had it figured out and we wanted to know how to do what they did so we could do it too and be like them. We didn't resent them.....I didn't resent them...I envied them. I loved them. I loved staring at them and trying to soak in  every word spoken, every rule and tip and inspiration they happily passed on to us, the eager audience. How to live happily ever after with God, husband and family. How to be a leader in your church, school and community. 

Years later I learned that a valued speaker and leader can be strong in one area and not so strong in other areas  of their life. That it is okay to speak or write a book with authority in one thing while still struggling in other parts of daily living. The blogging world let me see inside the lives of writers who had huge followings but one suffered terribly from a fear of leaving her home. Another had such severe panic attacks that she had to hospitalized. 

All of this came back to me recently when a reader of my book looked at me in frustration and said that the book made her feel jealous and caused her to question why God does not talk to her the same way He spoke to me. 

As she shared her heart so truthfully and bravely, I did that thing you are not supposed to do. I got really excited to answer her. I was happy she did not keep this thought to herself, because it is the absolute last thing I wanted my book to do to anyone. So this way, she gave me the opportunity to banish any frustration Walking Butterfly brought to her heart. 

My answer had two parts. 1) The true stories in Walking Butterfly were spread over a span of many years. I would guess maybe thirty years. The stories in my book are highlights of my life so far. I only chose the big moments to share, the minutes when God stepped into my day and interrupted a very ordinary life. I told her that it was similar to how we all post pictures of our best moments on Facebook. We all know that there are millions of boring days in between the fun parties, outings and great meals. 

As I answered, I also thought about how the Bible is a collection of the highlights in lives of ordinary people. But I didn't voice this thought because comparing Walking Butterfly to the Bible would just be wrong! 

2) The second part of my answer was to say that God is speaking to her. He is speaking to everyone, but we tend to dismiss His voice because it is usually not a big booming crack of thunder. As I look back at my moments of hearing God, I know that I had a split second choice to either ignore the thought as coincidence or pursue it to see if it was indeed God. The times that I followed the inner tug, or surprising thought, I was rewarded with a sense of His presence and a strong hope that I was hearing from Him. 

Sometimes I simply wrote about it in my journal saying things like, "I have no idea if this thought came from you God, but if it did, thank you." And often I would get some sort of confirmation from another source that the idea was His. 

I am a writer who loves to write about the love of God. I believe it is my special message that I am meant to share. But I am also a very messed up human being. I have ridiculous fears and insecurities that shape my life in ways that embarrass me. I am not one of those perky perfect women's retreat speakers. And those amazing speakers are also messed up humans, and I am sure they admitted that as I sat on those wooden benches drinking them in. I wanted to think they were perfect, because that would mean that someday I could be perfect too. 

I used to feel unqualified to write about how much God loves us because I do not have it all together in other areas of my life. But now I know that He loves me in my mess and that frees me up to share my good news that He loves you in your mess too! How awesome is that? 

From my mess to yours,

Susie

Exactly What Every Writer Desires

I am still basking in the joy of my time spent with a dozen lovely women two days ago. Yes, a lot is happening in my home in recent days. Family stuff, both good and bad is swirling around the people that I love. But deep down there is a smile that rises whenever I think about attending my first Book Club featuring my book!! 

Since I am a nervous driver, I've been memorizing the drive from my home to the book club venue. (My husband even drove me there once so I would not be surprised by any unexpected detours.) On Saturday with a tumbling tummy of excitement, I drove slowly along the street where the book club hostess lived and tried to see the house numbers up ahead. I noticed a woman parking and I grinned when I saw Walking Butterfly in her hand as she locked her car door! I knew I had the right house!

I entered a beautiful home and was greeted warmly by several women, some seated on couches and chairs and others lingering around a dining room table covered in yummy treats and a pitcher  of  sweet tea. The women approached me and began to tell me how happy they were to meet the author of Walking Butterfly. One woman held my hands and looked into  my eyes intently and said with a smile, "I know you so well!" It made me search my mind to see if we had met before, but I had only met two of the book clubbers previously. Of course she meant that by reading my book, she felt she knew me. 

Walking into a room full of people who have read your innermost thoughts and prayers is a bit daunting, but also totally delicious. 

The sandwich on the plate I carried to a spot to sit looked wonderful, but my mouth was too dry and  nervous to really eat it, so I munched on grapes and a tiny muffin. I'd like that sandwich right now actually! The hostess told me that they like to eat and chat a while before discussing the current book so we enjoyed a time of visiting and I could see that this group of women were good friends and truly cared about one another's lives. 

Then came the questions and observations about Walking Butterfly. What motivated me to write it? How did I decide which stories from my journal to include? How can we effectively share the love of God with those who do not understand? 

Over and over they told me of certain chapters that spoke to them, and when I heard them quoting me to me, I almost cried in happiness! Laughter would break out as one woman would bring up a funny line and others would nod and add their own favorite. Amazing!

Then a question was asked that I told them I was hoping would not be asked. A gentle young woman said that she really liked the chapter about God singing over us and having a special song for each of us. She said she could not figure out the tune to the little song that I described given to me. Would I sing it for them? I told them that I do not sing well, but since my preschool class hadn't objected to my voice I would go ahead and sing it for them...and I did!! What?? Tears came to my eyes as I did it and tried to describe the wave after wave of love God has for us. Just like the never-ending waves on an ocean shore. They never ever ever stop, just come and come and come. 

It turned out to be a special moment and I am glad she asked. 

After two hours they had some book club business to do and announcements to make and again, I was impressed with these women who love their community and are finding ways to share love and acceptance with  everyone around them. Then even as I could see that it was time to wrap up, more observations and questions about my book came my way. It was like they wanted to just keep talking about Walking Butterfly and the huge love of God. 

A favorite sight was seeing so many copies of my book filled with post it notes and underlined sections with turned down pages and wrinkled covers! I meant to take more photos but we were too busy talking away, I forgot until it was time to go. So I asked a woman if I could take a pic of her book and she said that she had a lot more post it tabs on her copy but took them off before coming. Haha! Happy heart for this writer!! 

What more could an author ask for? Readers who loved her words and said that they were touched and blessed by them. I was even told by one person that the end of each chapter, called "Your Turn" was used as her devotional in the mornings. My God is exceptional and ridiculously generous to me. I know this book club was about these women and for these women, but wow, it was a glorious experience for me that I will never forget. 

Walking Butterfly Blog!!

Welcome Friends of Walking Butterfly!

My book has been out for over a year now and my heart is happy to hear of the gentle impact it is making on your lives. The other day a reader sent me a message about how much she enjoyed "opening Walking Butterfly on any page, on any day and finding treasure." Wow, loved that so much! 

Today is Wednesday June 7 and I am counting the hours until I attend my first book club featuring Walking Butterfly on Saturday June 10! I should be nervous, and that may still happen, but I am just excited to sit with a dozen readers and hear their thoughts and impressions. I will attempt to answer any questions they may have. I've been praying for them, so that may be why all I feel is love and joy to have a snack and chat with them on Saturday morning. 

I will let you all know how it went. Of course, if I freeze up and sit there like a bump on a log and stare at them for an hour, you may not be hearing from me for a while! :0 

Keep Flying!,
Susie Klein

Fun Surprise in Book Publishing

It may have started when my sister posted a photo of herself holding my book soon after it arrived in her mailbox. She was so happy and excited for me that she just wanted to share the joy. 

Then more and more pictures started to pop up all over my Facebook feed. I can not tell you how fun it is to open up your account and see so many smiling faces holding your first ever published book! 

 It is a thrill and a half, that's what it is! I am overwhelmed at the beautiful support of my friends and family as they help spread the word about my new book, WALKING BUTTERFLY. 

The last pic is me enjoying an author's high as I hold my book in my hands and realize a dream come true at last.

Why not hop on over to Amazon now and see for yourself? WALKING BUTTERFLY is full of personal stories about my slow transition from fearful, legalistic church lady to a free flying believer who knows without a doubt that she is loved by God. What a difference it makes when you truly grasp that you are cherished by the God of the universe! 

You can know this for yourself. This little book will walk you through the process of moving from doubt to belief in a gentle and practical way. You will be more loved on the last page than the first. 

Come and Get It! My Book is Published!!

Walking Butterfly is now available on Amazon!!
 

I know, weird chapter title huh? I promise it's a great true story.

I love how my designer made the inside as pretty as the outside!

Just a little excited!

 Susie

My Book Journey Continues...

Oh my goodness, you guys!!! I am one humming and grinning lady around here lately. I can hardly believe what has been happening. 

It was just a few months ago that I began tentatively mentioning on my personal blog that I was getting serious about publishing a book that I'd been working on for years. Even then, it felt like I was kinda being careful to just quietly whisper it at the end of a post...because who knows if I would really stick with it? I certainly didn't know. 

And now, now I am anxiously watching the mailbox in front of my house, expecting the PROOF COPY of my book within the next 8 days or so! 

I did it. I completed my christian nonfiction book, and uploaded it to Create Space, Amazon twice to get it right. It passed their review and now a print paperback is in the mail on it's way to my house so I can make sure it is good enough for you guys. Once I am happy with it, I will hit PUBLISH and it will be available for purchase on Amazon. Sometime in the first 2 weeks of February hopefully. :) It will only be available in paperback for now, not digital at this point.

So today.....DRUM ROLL PLEASE......

I'm ready to do my COVER REVEAL right here and now for my friends!!!! Lucky you! The first to get a peak at my gorgeous book cover, created by my gifted friend Lorraine Box. I could not be more pleased!! I am doing the cover reveal inside my blog, not as the top pic so that it only shows up for the ones who came to my blog. Aren't you that special? SO....time to scroll down.....So excited!!!

Isn't it a beauty? I wanted the book cover to be super simple because my message is very simple and I am a pretty simple lady. Hubs may disagree, but whatever. 

So I am now stalking my mail box waiting anxiously for my proof copy to arrive. very soon after it's arrival I will let you know how to buy a copy..or two or three! 

Susie

- See more at: http://www.recoveringchurchlady.com/#sthash.4aDPsTft.dpuf

Never Wanted to Write a Book

I am a writer who never wanted to write a book. Yes, I swooned as I watched Jo March (Gone With the Wind) run her hand gently over her name on the cover of her first book, and I filled pages and pages of my journal, but for the first 58 years of my life I had no desire to see a book with my name on it.

When I was much younger I spent the night at the home of a friend. On the night stand next to the bed in the guest room was a book written by a member of that family. As I picked it up, dust floated into the air. The book had never been opened and there were more copies on a high shelf. I knew that I did not want my hard won words to end up like this.

My desire for my writing was something more alive and fresh. Here today and gone tomorrow, like my hero Erma Bombeck, the newspaper columnist. I loved the idea of getting to know my readers and they getting to know me.

As the pastor's wife of a small church in a small town I found an equally small way to fill this desire of my heart. I wrote a weekly unpaid newspaper column for the Religion Page of the local paper. I loved it and found time for several years to fit it in, between school car pools and church committee meetings. I wrote about my life with God and family. My little column was upbeat and always encouraging and sometimes a little bit funny. When I began to hear that others enjoyed it and that some even cut it out and posted it on their refrigerators, I was in Heaven! (Our refrigerators were the original FaceBook walls.)

Then along came the wonderful world of blogging! This was the perfect venue for my style of writing. The updated version of an interactive newspaper column at its best. Recovering Church Lady is my second blog. I created my first one in 2008 and it was called Walking Butterfly. I told no one in my real life about it and loved making new friends online that were in totally different walks of life and from all over the world. Many of them followed me over to Recovering Church Lady when I started this blog in 2010. (This post was originally published on my personal blog, Recovering Church Lady.)

I have written for devotional magazines, ministry newsletters, several online magazines and businesses. My rambling words are scattered all over the place. And now I come back to a desire that hit me between the eyes in 2011...to write a book.

At the time I thought that I was going to write a book for pastor's wives who were struggling. The outline came to me smoothly and easily one day in my journal and I believed that God had given me an assignment. I excitedly told everyone! That shocked me and made me even more convinced that I was on a mission from God. :)

It took many months and tons of research to get myself so confused and overwhelmed with the writing and publishing process that I found myself frozen and the project stopped for months at a time. I lost the message and purpose for such a book. I felt embarrassed for my bold declarations to my friends and family and feared that I had become that old cliche` of the wannabe writer who is enamored with the writing life more than the actual work of creating a book. (I still worry about that today.)

The first book idea was set aside as I discovered that the main message it carried was really for a much broader audience than just ministry wives. When I tore it apart and brought it back to the core, I found my life message about the love of God. The huge, simple and complicated love of God.

So this year I have been working on book idea number two. Each chapter begins with a true and intimate experience between God and me. Then I do my best to expand on it and help the reader apply it to their own life. I believe that this is the book God meant for me to write and I am so excited to see it take shape beneath my fingers. Recently Hubs asked to read it for the first time and his response made it suddenly feel very real. He is a bit of a sarcastic and cynical soul and his words after reading it are the best thing a faith writer would ever want to hear about her book. I am keeping them to myself...too precious to me.

Ack, cannot believe I am spilling all of this to you! But writing a book involves a good amount of sticking one's neck out, doesn't it? Mine feels kind of chilly right now. An editor friend took a quick look at what I have written and gave me the encouragement to go for it and so I am. I plan to self-publish because my research has shown that it is a smart way to go in recent years. The deadline may change but I am hoping to have my book of love release in time for Valentines Day 2016.

I would love your good thoughts and prayers for me as I figure out how to navigate this new world of publishing. I cannot afford an editor or cover designer etc, so I am working hard to get it in the best shape possible on my own..... ( UPDATE: One day after posting this on my personal blog, God provided me with a fantastic COVER DESIGNER free of charge! I honestly did not expect this, but a sweet reward from my community after being vulnerable. Thanks LB!)....  It is a daunting task, but I am loving the process because I love helping people see God in a whole new way. So many of you have encouraged me through your comments on my blog posts over the years. Thank you for reading me! It means everything to me.

Susie

- See more at: http://www.recoveringchurchlady.com/p/the-book.html#sthash.100vws1N.dpuf