Overwhelmed By Him

The little church that I attend now is quiet and very non-demonstrative compared to my past church life experiences. Actually, most churches could be considered non-demonstrative in comparison. I see deep value in both styles and I am slowly falling in love with my new church family. (The "slowness" is all on me. They have welcomed me with open arms. I have just been reluctant to walk completely into those arms.) I am thankful for their patience with me, and have been on both sides of this kind of relationship.

I do not attend every Sunday. I am one of THOSE. Again, it feels weird to be that kind of person. The one who shows up sporadically to random services and church events. I never used to understand "those" people and now I am one.

But today I went to church. I got myself dressed up in nicer clothes than my work t-shirts and jeans, drove around the block from my house and walked through those church doors. I looked into the eyes of the people walking towards me and was embraced by a friend that I work with at the preschool.

I muted my phone and took a seat near some ladies from the book club that I attend once a month.  The pastor came and chatted with me for a minute about the school and some changes that are coming up in the next year. Another friend came and teased me about a mutual situation we are in.

I sat down again feeling known, accepted and loved. With a deep breath I thanked God for loving me enough to push me into relationships that scare me.

And one of the first songs led by the "blueGrace Band" was the song at the top of this blog post. All about the overwhelming love of God...

"Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
And I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God."Songwriters: Caleb Culver / Cory Asbury / Ran Jackson , Reckless Love lyrics © Bethel Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

I closed my eyes, lifted my hands and basked in His love. Tears came and I did not want the song to end. I smile now as I realize that this revealed another difference from my past church life. This song would have been sung at least 5 or 7 more times in row! Haha! We did believe in getting everything out of a song or message that we could! :)

Some people get upset at the use of the word "reckless" in this song. (Sheesh!) I love it, but the word that always sparks my heart is the word "overwhelming".

That is not a safe and secure word. That is a word that means out-of-control, not normal, unexpected, huge! To be overwhelmed is not all comfy and sweet. It is not carefully contained or bordered. It's a "swept off my feet" kind of word, isn't it?

The overwhelmed word makes me think of standing in the ocean when an unexpected wave hits you and at the same time the wet sand beneath your feet gives way and you find yourself floating and tumbling in the water. I've known this experience and it isn't all fun and games until you manage to right yourself again and then you laugh. But being overwhelmed by a crashing wave is an amazing and exhilarating sensation!

If you let it, His love can be like that. God's love for you is not gentle, meek or mild. It is powerful and can feel relentless. He loves you with all of His being. How big is that? He loves you with all of the power of creation. How much is that?

The love of God can tumble you upside down and around until you are laughing and gasping for air. He will set you back on your feet and then blindside you again with His love from a whole different direction when you are not looking.

If I have any advice to give; it will be the same thing I am talking to myself about. Let Him love you. Say "Yes!" to His big love. Stop protecting yourself from His reckless love. Walk wholeheartedly into those arms. Go ahead and allow the embrace. Tumbles may happen, but you will come up laughing.

Overwhelmed by Him,
Susie

The Holy Club

The "Holy Club", "Bible Moths" and "Enthusiasts". These were all slightly derogatory nicknames given to the Wesley brothers, John and Charles in 1728 as they tried to walk out their faith in every day ways. College groups formed as the young men got together with friends to discover methods of living a holy life that would please God. The name that finally stuck and that they embraced was the "Methodists."  

In recent months I have been "kind of" attending the Methodist church near my home where I work in their preschool. I am still a little skittish about committing myself to a church, but I am gently falling in love with the people in this church. 

A few Sundays ago I found myself nervously standing in line in the middle aisle of the sanctuary waiting for my turn to take communion. I kept peeking up ahead to see what to expect because it was looking very different from what I am used to. I considered turning the opposite direction and heading out the door and to the safety of my little yellow truck, but only for a split second. My curiosity and a sense of God's presence made me inch along in the line until I reached the front of the church.

This would be my third or fourth time taking communion with this group and I'd only been attending sporadically for a couple months! Every time was different so far. I would later learn through some research that celebrating communion almost every week was one of the "methods" the Wesley brothers established in the Holy Club. 

When I reached the front of the line I was met by the pastor holding a big loaf of bread and with a beaming smile she broke a piece off for me and spoke the words, "This is His body broken for you.." I took the bread and then was faced with another person holding a beautiful chalice filled with grape juice for me to dip my bread into. Following what those before me had done, I dipped it, ate it and walked back to my seat. 

Another Sunday I was in line again, but this time five of us at a time were led to kneel at the prayer rail in front of the church and we were given communion by smiling helpers and allowed to kneel a few minutes then move back to our seats. 

Being the newbie in a church is a very foreign experience for me. I am comfortable on the other side of the story. I am used to setting up the sanctuary (and the communion) long before the first member even arrives. This is all new territory for me and it is both challenging and rewarding. 

The worship "style" of this little church is the polar opposite of my background. And yet, and possibly because it is different, the tears have fallen and even surprised me. 

Many years ago I wrote that I do not believe that God is worried about all the different denominations. I don't think that any one kind of church is right and all others are wrong. I remember feeling very radical to admit that I actually think that maybe God even LIKES all the different flavors. That it may be possible that He designed them so that He could reach all different personalities and all kinds of people around the world!

The other side of the forest behind our home as seen
from my truck in the church parking lot.

I have seen God in this little church near my home. Back when I was part of a Bible school staff, I remember describing the school as simply a framework for God to inhabit. That all God wants is to see some people gathered to meet Him and He will be there. Simple as that. Gather, look up in invitation and He says, "Here I am." 

He loves a party. Small or large, if He is invited He will come. I have been part of tiny home groups, medium size church congregations and on staff in a huge church. God loves them all. Because they are all people who want to meet Him, who desire to know Him better. God cannot resist His people. 

I may still be nervous about commiting to a church, but God does not hold back from anyone who wants to meet Him and know Him better. I trust Him completely and I look forward to getting to know some more of His "Holy Club" around the block from my house. 

Susie