Always Comes Back To Love

Blurry but happy!

My home is quiet right now. My adorable (and sassy) daughter-in-law makes a point of having the two kids and herself out of the house on the days that I work at the preschool. She knows that I need some silent, down time after a day full of 15 busy and noisy 4 year olds.

She loves me and goes out of her way to try and make my life easier. Even in the middle of our crazy co-living situation that can be a challenge for all of us at times. This is one of the things she does because she loves me.

When I empty the dishwasher I always place my husband's favorite coffee mug toward the front of the cupboard door that I know he opens first. He does not know that I do this silly little gesture every day. But I do it because I love him and want to do all I can to make his life easier, even in such a tiny unnoticeable way.

When we know that we are loved, it changes us inside doesn't it? I know that it makes me want to live up to that love. I stand taller, feel calmer and like myself better when I am in the company of people who love me.

When I talk and write about how much God loves each one of us, it is not a small message. Most of us have heard the message of God's love for much of our lives. If you did not hear it from your family or friends, you had glimpses of the love message on TV, in books, magazines and online.

Knowing that I am loved by God has saved my sanity. I am an anxious person. A worrier and over-thinker. Is it possible to be an optimistic pessimist? I am both. Each time I leave the house I practically hold my breath until I am back home. I am also a very happy and cheerful woman.

But / And I am loved by God. He knows me. He knows that every time I drive away from my house alone to go to the store, I spend the first 5 minutes telling myself that I can still turn back and go home for the day instead.

He knows that I hide in the ladies room at church sometimes. I believe that He smiles when I take a deep breath and greet the ladies coming toward me as I leave the restroom.

I am known and loved by God. I know that He loves me because of the small and large things He has done to show me. I know that He gave me my wonderful husband. I know that my job is a gift from God. I know that He loves me when I am on my living room floor playing with my grand kids.

Being loved by God helps me breath. Knowing I am loved keeps me from hiding in my home. Knowing that I am loved makes me stand taller, feel calmer and like myself better.

When I question His ways...I remind myself of His love. When I am confused or angry...I remind myself of His love. When He does not do what I think He should do...I remind myself of His love. It ALWAYS comes back to His love.

We are all loved. God loves you, me and the annoying neighbor. He knows you...and He loves you...still.

Random Journal Day Reunion! Come Join Us!

Well, it is 8:30 pm, I have a nice glass of white wine beside me, husband is smoking a pipe on the back porch, my grandkids are asleep and their parents are movie-watching in their own room. 

Our home is quiet, which does not happen a lot. I am savoring the quiet and this moment to rejoin some old friends for a Reunion of the Random Journal Day gang. But I hasten to add that new friends are welcome to join! It's so easy!

All we do is find one of our old journal entries and use it as a writing prompt for a blog post. Then you simply connect your blog up to the organizer of this fun; Enthusiastically, Dawn. On her blog you will find a list of other bloggers who are sharing their journal writing too. (AND I heard a rumor that she is doing a big GIVEAWAY that you will love!) 

My blog has not been a very active place for the past year due to a new job and lots of crazy changes in our family. But all is well and we are happy and healthy. My last few blog posts will catch you up on what has been happening around here. 

Now I am teaching preschoolers to journal!

My blog, RECOVERING CHURCH LADY had to be abandoned due to a mix up regarding my domain name and payments. So now I live here at WALKING BUTTERFLY. I hope you come back often, as I try to get back into a more regular writing routine. Please tell me about your blog, I would love to visit you!

Our mutual friend, Dawn has challenged us to dig into our journals once again and create this little RJD Reunion, so I guess I had better get to it or she will nag me to bits. You know how she is, right? 

A journal entry from July 25, 2017 made me smile the other day, so I will let you in on the little joke too. I'll just let you read it for yourself...


"July, 25, 2017
This morning when I went into the kitchen to grab my cup of coffee, my grandson (almost 3 years old) and daughter-in-law were on the couch with a book. Grandson says to me, "Grandma, you are in trouble!" 

Turns out that he had been repeating a funny thing that he'd accidentally said yesterday and I had laughed at it. So his mama had told him, "Oh man, Grandma is in trouble now!" 

In the swimming pool yesterday Grandson wanted to tell his daddy that he was going to "kiss" him, but instead he had said, "I'm gonna piss you Daddy!"......And Grandma cracked up!

Oh well."


Oh well, indeed. If it is funny I am going to laugh and I will not say that I regret it one bit. Nope. In fact it still makes me crack up today! 

This is probably one of the plethora of privileges that grandparenting affords. I am not over thinking and analyzing everything I say or do, like I did as a parent. Grandparents can relax a bit...mostly because we know that we are still going to mess up and the kids will survive and forgive us in the end. (For the most part, anyway.)

I love being a grandma. In fact tomorrow I may just grab my grandson and tell him I want to give him a big piss! (Just kidding Honey.) 

Hey look Dawn. Found my old RJD pic!

Susie

Family House

I love it when my grandson backs into me so he can sit on my lap to help him with his shoes. He can put on his shoes by himself. After all, he is a whole 3 years and 3 months old now. And ever since his mommy drew a couple of little faces on the inside of his shoes, he never gets them on the wrong feet.

But I am greedy for any chance to hold this gangly and busy little guy. The days of rocking him to sleep for nap time are long gone and our good-night hugs are much too quick. Grandpa has developed a strategy to pretend he doesn't want a good-night hug in order to get a good one. 

Two families living together in one house can be a tricky maneuver. We are doing it and learning as we go. It began almost accidentally and was meant to be temporary, but now we are thinking about how we could make it a long term adventure. Who knows, it may not work out to find a place for two families, but it's fun to imagine and play with the idea.

Because there are some pretty amazing moments that can happen.

I love this one right now. I am writing on the couch in the living room, Husband is outside having a pipe and my son and daughter-in-law are in the family room playing with Legos with Grandson and nursing Granddaughter. I can also hear Daughter-in-law reading a chapter book aloud to her little family. 

In the morning I will wake up to the sounds of Grandson and his daddy cooking breakfast and chatting away in the kitchen every single morning. I've never cared about sleeping in so this works out fine. Besides who would complain about waking up to the aroma of coffee without having to get up and turn it on yourself? 

Grandson is my cheerful guinea pig for my preschool book choices and art ideas. He loves books and I am crazy about reading aloud to him so it is a definite win-win for both of us! He has also helped me appreciate nature in my yard, down to the teeny tiniest little seedling we find on the ground. We discuss it all and then he joins me in waving "Hi everybody!" to the airplanes overhead. 

Another great moment is meal time. Grandson likes to find out who made what and tell them "thanks for making this Grandma (or Mom)." Before the meal is over we will probably get to watch the food negotiations happen. "Three more bites of this and then you can eat that." Our meal time is often done in shifts lately anyway, so one of us can hold Granddaughter while others eat and then trade places.

Of course, I also get to hear tantrums from Grandson and "don't you dare change my diaper" screams from our 3 month old Granddaughter. I grumble when trying to fit my groceries into our overloaded pantry and we have to do a bit of car choreography in order to get our vehicles in and out of the driveway each morning. 

But these are all signs of family life. The hard stuff comes with the sweet stuff.  

It is never boring in my home. 

And when Grandson backs into me and asks for help with his shoes, I will always say yes.