The Fork In My Road

Have you ever looked back at your life and suddenly noticed a subtle fork in the road that you didn't even recognize at the time? A small part of me has been wondering what it might have looked like if I has chosen a different prong of the "fork". 

Tomorrow is another First Day of School for many of us. My preschool classroom is all set up for a new group of 4 year olds to arrive. My teaching partner and I are so ready! The texts have been pinging back and forth all summer and we are anxious to see if all of our fun ideas will work with this new crew. 

Tomorrow morning will be my third year back to teaching preschool since leaving it to raise my kids and join my husband in 30 years of full-time ministry life. 

I kept my hand in early education by working as a substitute teacher for three preschools in our city for a few years. But babysitting plans became too complicated and stressful, so I sadly took my name off the sub lists. 

Working with little ones has always been important to me, even in ministry life. Children's church, midweek Kids Clubs and teaching Sunday School began long before I was married and continued far into our ministry.  

And now here I am, back in a colorful classroom and wishing I had never left. My mind wonders what it could have looked like if I had stuck with it. 

There were other reasons for leaving. I suffered from severe headaches in those days and we all know that head pain and little kids are not a great combination. But still I wonder.

Could I have taught preschool while my boys were in school? Instead of being the pastor's wife who obsessed over Women's Ministry Committees, Bible Studies and making sure the Nursery Helpers were arriving on time? 

There was an optional prong to the fork that I did not even consider at the time. Could I have been the pastoral wife with another job? It actually sounds pretty nice from this end of the fork. 

I loved working with college age students for the last 10 years of our ministry and I would not trade that for anything. But even those years could have been shared with a preschool job a few days a week. 

Maybe all of these wonderings about this prong or that prong are simply a sign that the current prong is just right for right now. 

I love this preschool job so much! I am finding a great deal of fulfillment, challenge and just the right amount of tension to keep life very interesting! I get to be creative and silly and my co-workers and Director have become great and true friends. 

We are The Owl Class!

I was a caterpillar who became a butterfly and now I am an owl. Owls are known for their wisdom that comes with age, so there you go. I'm wise enough to know that looking back with regret is a lose-lose situation, so I will not do that. 

If you are a young mom who feels stuck or you find yourself wondering if putting your career aside was a mistake, I want to tell you that the fork you are balancing on right now is not permanent. 

Surprises are ahead of you. Even if you are a crazy detailed planner like me. I had no clue I would ever come back to early education as a job. For years I moved an extremely awkward file box of preschool supplies, songs and crafts from one home to the next, never wanting to let go of all that work. Finally I put it in the garbage tote one night while doing an extreme purge-cleaning. I thought that part of my life experience was over.

Surprise! Now my laptop is overflowing with all the info I need, no problem. :) 

I would not change the path I chose. The fork in my road took me to some wonderful places and I met amazing people who still mean a great deal to me. Of all the cutlery in the world, I love mine and I have no regrets. 

Susie
aka Ms Susie

Just Wanted to Impress the Pinterest Moms

I am two days away from facing a room full of eighteen 4 year olds! Eighteen 4 year olds! Four is a delightful, chatty and busy age, they were my favorite age to work with years ago before my own kids arrived. And now, here I am again, teaching preschool!

This last week we had our Open House. My first time to meet the kids and THE PARENTS. I have decided that the real reason for Open House is so that after the high tension of a classroom full of student's multiple family members, the idea of just facing the kids sounds wonderful and easy.

So anyway, I wanted to surprise the kids (and impress the grown-ups) at Open House with "Magical Play-doh." You hide colored dough inside a ball of white dough so that it just looks like white play-doh. I made a cute sign that said it was magical and if their play-doh changed color it would mean they were going to have a great year in our class. 

As you can see I worked very hard on this little project and they looked so cute. Those young Pinterest mommies would be so impressed with the new teacher! 

With heart pounding and bags packed I kissed Hubby good-bye and headed off to the school for Open House night. I parked and grabbed my purse, cup and .......THE BAG! My truck cab is tiny, but I still sat there looking and looking, trying to figure out why my bag of school supplies was not in front of my eyes. 

Thankfully I live very close to the school so I raced my truck back to my street and there was my bag on its side in my driveway. I had set it down to unlock my door, got other stuff inside, then hopped up and drove away. Right OVER my bag! 

My sweet little play-doh balls were smashed. No longer snowy white but blueish white and no longer very magical at all. I drove back to the school upset and shaking and trying not to lose it completely. 

Came across these tonight as I cleaned out my school bag. Sad huh?

I managed to reshape them a bit but they did not impress anyone, but the kids still enjoyed squishing them into a pretty blue color. 

As evidence of my anxiety about Open House Night; I was more upset about my smashed play-doh balls then the fact that my iPad was also in that bag and it came so VERY close to being a crunched device. But it was fine, not a dent. My priorities  were seriously messed up. 

Last year was a crazy and challenging year as I worked with two year olds. I loved them and cherished some exuberant hugs in the hallway outside my classroom the other night from last years students. The 4 year old class is a whole new ballgame and I am excited, scared and thrilled to get started. 

My class has, get this... 13 girls and 5 boys. Pray for me, OK? 

I will keep you posted. 

Now I Know My ABCs...

Have you ever tried to hang the ABCs on a wall perfectly straight?
Probably going to bug me all year.

                  I have spent the last 3 and a half days in my new preschool classroom. The thoughts and emotions hopped around between the following:

• Happy
• Overwhelmed
• Scared
• Giddy
• Thankful
• Overwhelmed
• Ready to back out
• Excited
• Confident

Did I mention overwhelmed?

Last year I re-entered the preschool classroom after 30 years in full-time ministry. Before my own kids were born I taught 3 and 4 year olds for a few years. The class I worked/played with last year were 2 year olds, so I spent the whole year reorganizing my expectations and learning how to communicate with mostly nonverbal little people. 

This September I have been moved all the way up to the oldest kids in our school. The 4 year olds! Talk about verbal! I am thrilled and overwhelmed at this huge change. 

I am still somewhat amazed that this circle has come back around for me. I never expected it. During the majority of my ministry years along side my husband as we pastored churches, I was passionately involved in children's work of one kind or another. I love being around little ones because they are funny and creative and just so...fresh! 

Still I never planned to go back to the preschool classroom. But here I am!

This sixth decade of life has brought many surprises. Our second grandchild is on the way, arriving a few weeks after this new teaching job begins. I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for both. Both are bringing joy, excitement and challenge. 

I have found that I need all three of those desperately in my life. After completing and releasing my book in February of 2016, I no longer had a goal to work toward. I had no job, not many friends in this new state and very little challenge or excitement. Every day was the same as the one before. 

It was horrible. 

Then this job opportunity popped up literally right here in my own neighborhood! And even though I'd never planned to teach preschool again, I knew I wanted it!

And just like that my life was turned upside down with joy, excitement and challenge. Something as little as a two-days-a-week job has given me a bunch of delightful new friends, some spending money and a challenging learning curve for my brain and body. 

So here we go again. Preparing for a classroom full of chatty, inquisitive 4 - 5 year old people. I want to be a teacher that they remember for years to come as loving, kind and fun. I want to be the teacher who will listen with joy to their long convoluted stories, the one who sees the story in their drawings and the message in their scribbles. 

I can do this.

But I still feel overwhelmed!

Susie